


Anaheim City

by rivers_in_the_fields



Category: Shefani, The Voice - Fandom, behadam
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivers_in_the_fields/pseuds/rivers_in_the_fields
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What could have happened if Gwen and Blake would've met each other in high school?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. weirdo and the cowgirl

**Author's Note:**

> Gwen, Blake, Adam, Pharrell and Behati all end up in the same high school. All of them having big dreams. It's different than most stories, so it might need some getting used to. I pray for you all to like it ! I know some things will not end up with reality. Such as everyone's age, most people are all in the same grade. Obviously I know that isn't true in real life, but then again none of this is. That's why it's called fiction. I'm sorry if that's annoying for you !

In every class, you have those idiots who always needs attention, who’re always talking, insulting people with the most beautiful words first. Just like in every classroom, those awful people took place in the back. So I wasn’t really surprised that also in this school, those idiots existed. But one thing was different from Oklahoma Highschool. It was sitting there, also in the back of the classroom, always drawing on papers. One girl, it could change everything.

Two weeks ago, we moved here. ‘welcome to Anaheim", said a sign along the road. It was the only thing that every called me welcome here. The people were cold, not because of the weather- which was definitely the opposite, but the inside of everyone, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m not saying that there are only rude people here, I’m saying I haven’t met a kind one, yet. Anaheim looks like a ordinary place, and actually so it is. Just like every village it has groceries, banks, shops, schools and even children’s playgrounds. It's very different then where I come from, except for the people on the road who only seem to care about themselves. Who only care about not letting their company down, but their families, who cares about them?

One week ago, I picked out my new school and a few days later I went there for the first time. I always say: there’s nothing wrong with the school, but with the people who are in it. Today it’s Thursday,  2PM. My history teacher was talking about the art in the Renaissance. There she was, sitting in the back, drawing stuff on her history book. She was so quiet that barely anyone noticed her, except me. blond, long hair, pulled up in a messy pony tail. It was obvious though that her hair used to be brown, considering she was showing some outgrowth.  As interesting I might've thought history was, I couldn’t help but looking at her. It was like she hypnotised me from the first time I saw her. She, on the contrary, casted maybe one look while I was introducing myself to the class. I heard some people whispering about me.

“My name is Blake Shelton", I spoke. People their voices started reaching my ears now, when they made fun of me as they said that even my name sounded country as fuck. The moment I sat down and took my schoolbooks out of my back, things even got worse. In my school diary, there was a picture of me and my brother, Richie. It was from a few years back, in the days that I had my mullet. Of course one of the boys saw it and started making a joke about me not being a cowboy, but a cowgirl. Well whatever, I thought. So this month it would probably be my nickname, who knows what or who it will be next month.

When the bell rang, everyone ran out the classroom to go to chemistry. Normally I pursued my classmates to our next class, ‘cause I didn’t know where my classrooms were just yet. But this time I was too slow and lost everyone in the crowd. I opened every door on the second and third floor, hoping my class would be in there. Most of the time I had to say: ‘I’m so sorry, wrong classroom.’ And before I closed every door, I saw some girls giggling. When I finally opened a door and saw a short guy with brown hair and sparkling eyes, I knew I was right.

‘Excuse me, Ms., I didn’t know which classroom it was.’ The woman nodded lovely and made it clear that I should take a seat. There was one more seat available, next to the girl with her blond hairs.

‘Would you mind..’ I couldn’t even finish my sense when she looked me in the eye and nodded. ‘Sure, don’t mind sitting next to a cowgirl.’ Unlike the rest she was teasing me. With a lovely smile she turned her head away. Her lips, God, never have I been more fascinated by anyone else's their lips. But hers though, they were red, red as wine. And so beautiful. And her voice? It was so soft and just sounded o sweet.  But like I had noticed the past few days, she didn’t say a lot. But to be honest, me neither. I didn’t really know what to tell her. How can a guy like me make a conversation with a girl like her?

Eventually I just said: ‘I like your drawings’. In the meantime she was searching in her back for her chemistry book. Her cheeks turned a beautiful kind of soft pink when she glanced over at me to give me a shy smile. "Thanks, it aren't really drawings though", she mumbled as she opened her book in  a way she sort of hid the white page filled with small doodles. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to indulge your privacy -- " I stumbled over my words, cool Shelton. Really smooth, people already really liked you before.

I sighted and went on. "-- I just think they are cool that's all." Now it was my time to mumble and unlock my eyes from her body. After a second I see her head snap up and her eyes being fixed on me. "You really do? Like them, I mean?" Without hesitating I nod.

"They seem different, -- special", we locked eyes for just a second, but she looked down right away as she spoke: "everyone always things they are weird. That I'm weird. -- people call me the weirdo because of it." What the hell is wrong with these people? I started frowning my brows when I kept my eyes focused on her. "The weird ones are the coolest ones." I saw a smile appear on her face, which made me smile as well. The moment she looked up at me, though, she went back to her serious look, hiding the fact that she just laughed at my stupid attempt to cheer her up. Me? I just blushed at how obvious I was about thinking she's cool. Like why can't I play cool, God, Blake!

Once our chemistry teacher started speaking, she no longer said any words and paid very close attention. No drawing, nor sketching or whatever she would call it herself.  For me, it was rather hard to keep focusing on what the man was saying, when I was constantly distracted by her fruity perfume and her small hands redoing her hair every once in ten minutes.

The final hour, we had French from an old, almost deaf man, who always screams ‘cause otherwise he thinks he is speaking too quietly. I was bored the whole hour and looked at the girl. Would she also be bored? Probably, considering she was drawing again. I didn't realise how baldy I was staring at her until she looked my way and let out a small, shy smile. Without thinking about it, I smiled back and pretended for the rest of the hour to pay attention to the old man in front of the classroom. Afraid I would get caught staring once more. When it was 4PM, she rushed out of the classroom. I looked at the place where she had still been sitting three seconds ago, I saw a book covered with drawings on the desk. Oh damn it, she forgot! I grabbed the book and ran down the stairs. In the meantime I couldn't help myself from reading all kinds of words and sentences, written in spectacular ways, that were spread in between the doodles.

"Don't speak" "Just a girl" "I'm exposed but it's no big surprised" "don't tell me cause it hurts" "you're letting go" "this world is forcing me to hold your hand"

It looked so dark, so hurt and angry. Al though I have no clue who this girl is, somehow I feel the need to get to know her. To find out what happened to her, who the words were meant for. But immediately I feel guilty for reading those words, those words that seem so personal and close to her heart.

Squeezing myself through the crowd, suddenly twenty meters away from me, there she was. Just when I wanted to cry out for her, I realised I had no idea what her name was. I tried 'Hey!' a few times, but when that didn't seem to work, I had to think about something else. 'Weirdo!’ A few people looked behind them with evil eyes and looked me all the way up and down to see whether they knew me. ‘Oh sorry, I wasn’t talking to you.’ I smiled politely and ran further, as quickly as possible. ‘Weirdo!’ I cried a little more quite. This time the right girl turned around, with an annoyed look in her eyes. Luckily that changed when she saw me standing right in front of her, giving her a crocked, teasing smile while taking her book in my two hands, showing it to her.

‘Oh, you stole my book just so you could speak to me again?’ Her soft voice was sounding bitchy right now, which honestly startled me a little bit, at first. It only took me a second to realise that she was kidding and teasing me. I decided to play along with the game she started.

‘Well, I was planning on that, but you made it so much easier by just leaving it there.’ While nodding at the side of the classroom we came from.

 ‘Touché,’ she laughed adorably, while taking the book away from me and pushing it close against her chest. For the first time I noticed a little sparkle in her eyes, that made her eyes pop up, they look so happy. I don't know if it was the bell and the freedom that came along with it, that made the sparkle appear or if it was something else. I didn't mind not knowing though, as long as it did appear, I'm good.  

"Thank you for bringing it to me, though. Like I couldn't imagine like that someone would get a hold of it.  -- The scrabbles on it are kinda personal, you know?" She started opening her backpack to put her book in it, so it was in a safe place again. The guilt from me reading even just a small amount of those words made me want to punch myself in the face even more now. She gave me a confused look while leaning her head on her shoulder, trying to catch my gaze with her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I did read a few words..  once again, I didn't mean to indulge your privacy, truly... I'm sorry,"

I found the girl smiling at me, instead of being angry or whatever I was expected to see. She just stood there, smiling. A soft, sweet one, just as her voice.

"You're honest, I like that -- it might be my favourite characteristic a person can have", her words were heavy, as if she spoke from out of experience. As if someone had hurt her with lies or with dishonesty in the most terrible way. If I do think about it, it does puzzle the hurt and the darkness in her notes.

"It's a cowboy thing", her small figure turned around and started walking away from me, after she had given me one last smile. Her baggy jeans with a black tank top, accompanied with a checkered shirt and white sneakers started to make its way away from school, away from me. Just when I was about to turn around and head the other direction, her body swayed around and her eyes searched for mine.

‘Oh, before I forget.’ She looked at me. ‘My name is Gwen, in case you were wondering.’  To my biggest surprise she gave me a small wink as she turned her head and left for real this time. 


	2. fresh start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly background about why Blake moved to Anaheim + meeting Adam.

As a country song was ringing me awake, I noticed that for the first time in days, things didn't hurt as much as usually. The first thoughts that had come to my mind for months now, weren't there. Instead I saw a blond girl's smile shinning through my closed eyelids. I almost didn't want to open my eyes and keep my eyes closed to focus on that smile of hers. But the realisation that I could also actually open them and make myself ready to go see her on school again, made my eyes slowly open while fighting against the sunlight slipping through my curtains.

It's then that I noticed my little sister, Endy, lying in my arms. Every evening I put her in bed, gave her a midnight kiss as she closed her eyes as she seemed to drift off to sleep. But somewhere in every middle of every freaking night in the last month, a nightmare drove her towards my bed and my arms.

When I started sitting up a little more straight to stretch, she soon enough started crying.  She didn’t want to go to this school. Barely eight and everyone’s already bullying her. People may not play, sit, or even talk to her. And all of that just because she likes basketball, which -according to some dipshits- isn't a game for girls.

 ‘I don’t want to go to school any longer. Nobody likes me here, can we go back to Oklahoma already?" I saw how she hid her face between her legs, not to let me see the tears that were rolling over her flushed cheeks.

‘Hey little one, what do you think? You, me basket, after school?’ With her eyes full of tears she looked at me and conjured a smile on her face. ‘But only if you wipe away those tears.’ I said while raising one of my fingers. As quick as possible, she used the flat of her hand to wipe away her tears. She hugged me close while I kissed her on her forehead. ‘You know, little? Those people are jerks.’ Her head backed down, avoiding my eyes. ‘Hey, Endy, look at me. They simply don’t know what love is, so maybe you should let them see what you got. Maybe you should show them all how amazing you are.’ Her sad eyes already started to change in the giggling eyes I prefer to see. I meant it thought, Endy knows what love is. She gets the love of both our parents, of my stepdad, of me... and of my brother. She hasn't been hurt yet, nobody has broken her heart yet. For all she knows, she has been nothing than loved.  If it wouldn't be for the happiness from my sister, I would envy her.

‘By the way, nobody has those beautiful, giggling blue eyes that you have. Nobody is as cute as you are.’ I said while putting my hand through her hair.

When I chose a dress for Endy and helped her in it, I went to my room to pick my own clothes. I quickly pulled the brush through my curly head. ‘Blake, are you coming? I can’t get the cereal, it’s too high.’ I heard Endy's soft voice shouting from downstairs. I walked off the stairs and lifted her up so she could chose her own cereal. ‘Why are you so tall and am I so short?’ I started laughing,

‘No, Blake, I’m serious. I’m too short to play basket. Basketball players are supposed to be tall.’ With an unhappy face she walked to the table where she putted the cereal down. ‘Girl, you’re seven.’ I explained. ‘When I was seven I was even shorter than you are right now. And you're a girl!’ I took the milk out of the fridge and putted it next to the cereal. ‘So I will be as tall as you are, someday?’ I smiled and rubbed through her blond hairs. God I hope not, I thought to myself. I'm a sasquatch, and for a girl, it would be rather weird to have my size. But I nodded anyway and said: ‘Yes, you will. Hey! How many times do I have to tell you that you have to eat your cereal with milk? Otherwise it’s not nutritious enough.’

 

 ‘Endy, why don’t go upstairs and search for your coat?’ Her little feet stumbled on the stairs and as soon as she was upstairs, I opened the living door where I found my mom lying on the couch. I turned on the light and saw how she hid her face because of it. ‘It’s time to wake up.’ I said while walking to the window to open the rolling shutter.

‘Blake honey, can you please put that down again?’ She grunted.

‘First of all, you shouldn't honey me in this situation. Second of all, Endy's going to be here in one minute. So you’ll better get up and be nice. After we leave, you can do whatever you want to do again.’

With an annoyed face, she looked up at me. ‘You can’t tell me what to do! I’m the parent in this relationship, remember?", her voice louder than usual, which she already regretted in the same second because of her headache.

‘Well, I won’t if you act like one.’ Trying to keep my voice down, as I gave her a pitiful look. Without saying a word, I ran upstairs and go the bathroom to find myself a washcloth. Quickly I watered it in the washing table and rinsed it out so it wouldn't drip off. In the bathroom cupboard I also started to look for an aspirin, which I let it dissolve in the water. Picking the class of water and the washcloth up, I walked down the stairs again and headed back towards the living room.

Luckily my mom was still sitting up straight, with her head resting on her hands. I bend down next to her as I put the cold washcloth on her forehead and hand her the aspirin. Feeling the cold against her made her tilt her head up and place her soft hand on my cheek while thanking me, right before she drank the water with the aspirin all at once.

‘Blake! I can’t find it anywhere!’ Endy shouted. ‘It’s in your bottom drawer.’ I shouted back, which made my mom wince again. ‘Got it.’ My sister had made her way back downstairs. ‘I told you he would be there’ , talking about the coat. She smiled and took a few steps towards me trying to put on her coat. ‘Why don’t you give your mom a kiss so we won’t be to late at school.’ Cheerfully she walked towards our mom and gave her a kiss. ‘Have fun today, Endy. Behave!’ She said on the most excited tone she could possible get out. ‘See you, mom.’ She said walking to the front door. ‘Bye Endy.’ Then she looked at me. 'Bye sweetheart",  She nodded with an appreciative smile while I took up the empty bottle of wine off the ground, waiting 'till Endy had disappeared into our garden looking for her bike. ‘Mom, please take shower, ok? I love you", with that I closed the front door and left her there, feeling guilty for leaving  her alone with her thoughts once again.

 

After dropping Endy off at her school, I cycled as fast as I could to mine. Lost in my thoughts about how much my life had changed lately, I thought about my older brother. His name is Richie -- was Richie. My heart broke when the realisation shoot back through my head. One minute I was at home eating lunch with him when the next he was in his car, driving towards a friend when another car hit him and made him crash. From normal heartbeat, to way to fast heartbeat, to none at all, all at once. Nowadays I wake up, in a unknown home with my little sister in my arms. God knows I don't blame my mom. I love her with all my heart, I truly do. But after my brother's death, she completely lost track of who she is. The reality is too hard, which makes her reach for alcohol. Sometimes, like this morning, being harsh on her is the only thing you can possible do to let things sink into her. My stepdad, Mike, is a huge help. But sometimes, in the middle of the night, when the silence gets a hold of her thoughts, she sneaks out of their bedroom and grabs for the bottle. I know things are hard on her, just as they are hard on me, on Endy, my dad and on Mike, but she is my mom after all. I'm used to her being there for me when life gets hard. I'm not used to this. God, it was stupid to believe that things would get better if we all left Oklahoma, started over some place new. I actually had hope that she would get on the right trails again. Suddenly I heard the brake of car and realized I was still on my bicycle. ‘Are you okay? Have I hit something?’ Suddenly a guy, around my age, was standing next to me, probably the car driver. He was wearing a black jeans with a simple t-shirt. I said he hadn’t done anything wrong and told him it was my fault, that I wasn’t looking. The man also apologized and gave me a shoulder pat. "You new here?"

"Yeah, I'm Blake" I stretch out my hand to the guy and he shook it. "I'm Todd, nice to meet you. You live nearby?" After I explained whereI lived and he did the same - which turned out to be awfully close - he stepped back in his car. A few seconds later, he was gone. I guess I had just met the first, not selfish, man, here in Anaheim. I jumped back on my bike, forgetting about all my worries from before as I was excited about seeing Gwen again, soon. I laughed with myself at how huge of a crush I had on her. At first I was convinced it was only because of her appearance, 'cause hello? She's so hot! But now I can't wait to hear one of her teasing jokes again or see that big smile of hers.

\----

We had Art, and of course, there was Gwen. Do I have to talk to her? Or would she think I’m too clingy? Eventually I decided to nonchalantly walk past her, which I regretted immediately. ‘So now you’re going to ignore me?’ she said without even glancing up at me. I didn't know her well enough just yet, to try and read her facial expressions or the way she uses her voice. Was she teasing, irritated or even a bit angry? I had no idea. ‘Well um, no, I um...’ I hesitated. The moment the words left my mouth, I knew that teasing it was. The following moment, she turned her head and her chocolate brown eyes met mine.

Her straight, blond hairs were hanging loosely over her shoulders today as she wore a pink button up blouse with a dark, skinny jeans. She must've noticed me checking her out, which made me curse myself, as her pink lips went up in a small smile. ‘You’re going to sit next to me already or not?’ I smirk at how direct she was as she started ticking on the chair next to her.

‘I don’t understand...’ I whispered once the teacher was done with explaining what we had to do. ‘You never have had art on your previous school?’ I shook my head. I lived in Oklahoma, not this fancy crapholl, I thought to myself. "My school was mostly about the usual stuff, you know? Languages, math, science... Nothing  creative, not at all." Gwen turned towards me and took one of my pencils out of my pencil-case and start drawing some circles, like more precisely 4  circles. ‘Those two are the heads... the two under it should become the bodies eventually, it's all about making a sketch first...’ she went on for quite a while. Even when she explained everything to me like I was a toddler, I still didn’t understand everything. I'm not creative, not at all. At least not with a pencil. I did love to write stuff down, poetry or maybe even lyrics or whatever. I'm not good at it though, but it makes things hurt less when I write down my feelings. 

‘You know, why don’t you just sit next to me every time in art,’ I  pulled my eyebrows up, acting all surprised as if she was flirting with me, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

‘...so you can ask me stuff, you don’t get, cowboy!’ She made herself clearer while giving me a small, teasing push which made me start laughing.  For the entire hour, she kept on being very focused on her drawing, biting her lip from time to time. Me on the other hand, was left with the 4 circles on my paper that Gwen drew for me. Leaving me staring at Gwen the entire time, with an excuse that I was learning from watching what she does.

She sometimes even gave a small explanation of what she was doing, to teach me some stuff. Her passion fascinated me, in many ways. But then again, the way she pushed her hair behind her ear every once in a while, or put her hand just through it fascinated me as well.

When the day was done, I walked to the storage where I saw some of the jerks from my class driving out of it. ‘Cowgirl, drive home safely!’ Something wasn’t right, I knew that much immediately. When I arrived in the storage, I walked over at my bike. On the first sight, nothing was wrong. But when I walked to it closely, I saw a huge slice in my tire. ‘You can’t be serious...’ I said to myself. I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. What in hell did I do to deserve this? Look, I get it. I'm different, I'm from Oklahoma, I do have weird boots and used to have a mullet. I get all of that. But well, shouldn't we all accept each other's differences? If we all would be the same, wouldn't that be the worst thing ever?  I sighted, not believing how childish people could be. So be it that I wear flannel shirts, jeans and cowboy boots... What's wrong with that?

"I guess that will be walking home," someone behind me said. When turned around, I was facing a guy with shining eyes and brown hair that was in some of my classes. Not always though, he wasn't in my math class, which made me think that maybe he actually was good in math and so had more hours of it than I have. But for as much as I had seen of him, he was one of the funny guys, making everyone laugh with his jokes, which if I have to be honest, were hilarious. Everyone really seemed to like him, but one way or another he wasn't a part of any group. Not the jerks nor the way too smart people. That's the two things I did notice about him. His humour and the way he didn't fit in somewhere.

‘Yeah, I guess so too.’ I answered eventually while he gave me a pitiful smile. ‘I’m sorry they are acting like this to you. My name’s Adam.’ His eyes had rolled out of disbelieve when he took a closer look at my bike. I smiled and took the steering wheel. ‘You probably already know I am Blake.’ He nodded and said again: ‘Yeah, the country guy', he winked at me which made me sort of laugh. "Look, I'm very sorry, man! They are freaking idiots! I could walk with you?’

I smiled at his offer, but considering the way he came running in this storage and he kept looking at his watch, told me he actually was in a rush.

"That's sweet, but I don't want you to be late to wherever you're headed", His smile was back again as he apologized for being that obvious.

"I'm in this band, and we're performing in this café nearby." He said with a proud smile. In all honesty, he did look like he was meant to become a rock star for real. Even though I know he'll probably be into something totally different than my roots, I actually loved the fact that I found someone who must be as passionate about music as I was. All though it's in complete different genres.

"What's the name of your band?" I asked interested as I see him hesitate to answer.

"Kara's Flowers", I must've winced when he told me, which made him smile.

"I know, right? It's so dull!" I let out a country drawl, which made him laugh along with me. "What's your position in the band?"

"I sing and play a bit of the guitar too. James does the most of the guitar part though. Look, dude, I'm sorry for leaving you here like this..."  I shake my head as I make a sign with my hand for him to leave. He nods in understanding as he jumped on his bike. 'Have fun!' He waved and said one more time that he was sorry. Then he was gone.


	3. even your flaws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'll meet two new people in this chapter! Hope u like it

I was walking home while pushing the bike, with the huge slice in my tire, with me. ‘Blake?’ I heard. ‘You’re walking? What happened?’ The man who nearly hit me with his car this morning stopped beside me and stepped of his bike.  Reaching his hand out, he shook mine. ‘Oh hi, um, Todd was it, right? Yeah, my tire is flat.’ I said trying to not focus on the bullies. He looked at my tire anyway and shook his head.  ‘Such jerks,’ he whispered more to himself, than to me. ‘Well man, I wish I could do something, but it’s a big cut in there.’ I sighed. ‘I’ve been there, you know! They are unbelievable."

"Have they done the same to you?’ He looked me in the eyes while shaking his head  ‘Not to me, but to my sister. She's too cool for them all." I started laughing and a crooked smile appeared on his face. ‘But once they realize, you’re not going to leave, they become whole different persons. Hell, my sister even ended up dating one of those asses for years.’ I was glad he was here, I haven’t had such a honest talk with anyone, except with Endy. But then again, she's eight. Obviously I'm not gonna bother her with my ridiculous problems. "Well, I have to go ‘cause in a few minutes my sis's gonna be home and I promised her that I would cook her dinner, considering my parents left for a city trip this week."

"She's younger than you, your sister?" The guy nodded while giving me a small smile. "What age are you?"

"seventeen"

"Hey!" His finger was pointing at me, while sounding all enthusiastic. " You might know her, she's in your grade! Her name is Gwen." I must have widened my eyes as Todd started laughing with my expression. "Wow, dude, I think you do know her"

"I do, yes", I said shaking my head, after being speechless for a second. What is the chance that I run in to my only friend's brother twice a day? "She's cool indeed." I added, when Todd laughed and shook his head, having the typical proud, brotherly look on his face. His beaming smile was contagious.

"She definitely is. Would you want to come over for dinner?"

Wait, what? Dinner with Gwen and her family, how weird would that be? She must think I'm a stalker.

"I would love to, but I have to pick my sister up from her school. She's eight and well, I'm gonna be late already with this stupid tire."

 

\---------------------

 

A lesson English. One lesson English. Only 50 minutes. 3000 seconds. So why does it take so long? If it wasn't worse enough already, Gwen's place next to me was left cold. Hopefully she isn't sick or nothing too bad happened at home or something. I sighted. Why does it takes me so long to write a short essay about life. What should I write? How beautiful life is? That you should be happy for having the chance to live. But what do I know about life? Nothing. All I know is that it's unfair. That one day my brother had the same chance, to live this life. And without him doing anything wrong, someone robbed him from it. I know nothing, and this essay is crap. That’s why I decided to start with writing a quote from a tv-show called One Tree Hill.

 

> “It’s the oldest story in the world.
> 
> One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning
> 
> For someday. And then quietly,
> 
> Without you’re ever really noticing,
> 
> Someday is today. And then someday
> 
> Is yesterday. And this is your life.”
> 
> Maybe you know that this is a quote from One Tree Hill, maybe not. But what do I know about life? I’m 17. All I know is that one day we get born and another day we die. And the span between it can be one day or maybe a hundred years. One day we die, and maybe that day will be there tomorrow, maybe that day is today. Maybe life on earth is just one of the faces of the real living. Maybe we have already lived and died a thousand times, but we simply don’t remember it ‘cause the memories die with us? Or maybe we do only live once. But that’s the thing about our life, most questions are unanswerable. And so is this one.
> 
>                                                                                               Blake Shelton

This is it. This is all I can tell him about life ‘cause all the other things would be just speculation. I don’t do on speculation.

\----

‘Hey cowboy, haven’t seen you in a while.’ I turned around and saw Gwen standing there, beautiful as always. As my unhappy face changed in a cheerful one, her face had changed from a happy face in to a unhappy face. At first, I didn’t get it. But then of course, my black eye had surprised her. ‘What happened?’ She asked worried while putting her hand next to my eye. I’m so ashamed of myself that I couldn’t get any words out. Her worried, pitiful face started to puzzle together what might have happened as her face went from worried to disbelief. ‘You got into a fight?’ Her disappointment in her voice was all I could hear as I turn away from her and start walking in the other direction.

 ‘Don’t you walk away from me.’ Her mad voice made me hold my steps back and in a few seconds she was standing right in front of me again. I heard her taking a deep breath and changed her face in a poker face. ‘What happened?’ I started to replay the entire scene from yesterday.

_When I finally arrived at school, I saw like a hundred kids standing there, one of them must be my little sister who had two braids in her hair. I saw a group of older boys, around my age, whom were smoking something which I was pretty sure wasn’t legal. You could see that one of the boys was the leader of that group, I think they called him Gavin. Brown hair, dark sunglasses, leather jacket and a worn out jeans, typical bad boy. I recognized him from in my English class._

_‘Blake!’ I heard a panic voice shouting. "Blake! Here, hurry! Finn is in trouble!’ I ran towards Endy where she took my hand and led me the way. ‘What did Finn do to make them mad?’ I asked. ‘Nothing. They said they didn’t like black people.’ He paused. Racism, really? ‘There.’ She nodded. Quickly I ran towards the little boys and drove them apart. ‘Calm down! What’s going on here?’ I put my hand on the black boy's shoulder -which I assumed was Endy's friend Finn-  to confer him as I pulled him closer against me.  The other boys looked at me with their angry eyes and spit on the ground right in front of me. ‘What are you doing with my nephew and his friends, ah?’  Some voice said behind me. When I turned around I saw the guys from my age -who I saw on the playground a minute ago- were walking up to me. ‘Nothing, he was teasing my friends.’ I pulled Finn and Endy even closer to me, trying to protect them from whatever might be coming my way. ‘How do you know it wasn’t otherwise?’  That Gavin guy took a few more steps towards and the next thing I felt was his hands on my chest, pushing me._

_‘I don’t want any trouble here, okay? I just came here to pick up my sister and her friend.’ I took a few steps backwards but Gavin didn’t seem to want to back off. ‘What’s up boy? Are you afraid?’ I know what he was trying to do, beating me up. Getting me angry, wanting to pick a fight._

_‘Like I said bro,’ I started to raise my voice and stood straight up. ‘I’m not here to fight you.’ I turned away from him and tried my hardest to walk away. But suddenly I felt a hand pushing me hard against my back, making me lose my balance. Luckily I found it again pretty quickly. "you're such a girl. Sooner or later, Gwennie will realise that as well." He said, rather whispering. It's then that I saw another guy from around my age with the same brown-black ish colour who was smiling gratefully up at me as Finn started running towards him. ‘Go along.’ I said to Endy while pushing her towards Finns direction. ‘Blake, be safe, please.’ The small voice from my sisters said. How does he dare to include Gwen into this? I realised pretty quickly that he knew bringing her up would get my attention. And just when I decided that fighting him would give him exactly what he wanted and I wouldn't let him, I heard him talk again. "She doesn't deserve to be fight for a, she's a weirdo anyway", he spoke, not loud enough for everyone to hear it. But loud enough for me and his friends. All of his friends start to burst out in laughter. I felt my veins filling with anger as I spoke up._

_‘You want a fight? You will get one.’ Still standing with my back towards him as I quickly turned around. I  punched him in the face by which he almost fell on the ground, but he didn’t give up. He got up and jumped right on me. I felt a burning ache on my eye, by which I assumed he hit me. He took me by my throat but sadly for him I got way more power, than he ever will. Being a sasquatch did have his perks. I took him by his shoulders and threw him on the ground. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I took him by his collar and pulled him against the wall. ‘Make sure not one of my little friends will get hurt again’ I whispered. ‘About Gwen, don't you ever make fun of her again!" I let his collar go, as he fell on the ground and I turned away from him. A huge circle of people had formed around us. ‘Show’s over.’ I said to the audience as I rolled my eyes._

_I made a sign to Endy that she was allowed to come closer to me, which left her running until she reached my arms. ‘Are you okay?’ She asked. ‘I’m now.’ I said while watching that jackass sitting on the ground against the wall looking at me. Already being encircled by a whole group of his badass friends. I putted my arm around her and said: ‘I’m sorry, I promised...’ I couldn’t finish my sentence or she interrupted me already. ‘It’s okay, you only tried to protect us. I almost asked you to.’ I bring myself down my knees to hug her tightly. Seeing my hands still shake from what got over me. ‘I don’t know who I would be without you.’ I whispered a little bit worried about myself. ‘You’d be fine, I believe in you.’ I looked over her shoulder to find Finn and his older brother, who gave me a little bit of a confused and shocked glance but eventually he nodded. Finn smiled at me and his lips made the words: ‘thank you’. But I didn’t feel good about this, I didn’t feel as someone to be graceful for._

_‘How is your eye?’ Actually I totally forgot about it until I touched it with my hand. My eye started burning again which brought an enormous headache along with it. ‘It hurts a little, does it look bad?’ The guy's head shook no but his eyes betrayed him._

_"That bad, hah?" Hesitantly he nodded while giving me a pat on my shoulder. "My name is Pharrell. Thank you for sticking up for my nephew"_

_"Don't thank me, please..." I see him nod as if he knew the guilty feeling that was burning through my skin. He reached his hand out to me, which I took to pull me up from my bending position. "I'm Blake."_

_\--------_

_On our way home, walking, considering I told my sister that I road my tire flat, I started to feel even worse, not only my headache became worse, but so did the way I felt about what I’ve done. I promised Endy that things would get better, that it would be different this time. New city, new life. But apparently that was easier said than done. Even now that Gavin lost the fight, he still won. He got what he wanted. He wanted to beat me up and fight me, and I let him. ‘So, how did it go today?’ I tried to think about something else. ‘It's fun. There are only 2 girls though, me and Emma.’ 'You like Emma?"_

_Enthusiastically she started nodding her small head as she said that she did. I smiled but in a few seconds my mood changed again. ‘I’m sorry I ruined everything." I felt so miserable, so terrible bad. What kind of role model am I? Now that Richie's gone, I have to be the one she looks up to. ‘You didn’t. They did.’ I knew she meant what she said, but I couldn’t help myself for feeling bad. For feeling like the worst brother possibly. I could've just walked away and things would've been fine, too. But I couldn't just let them humiliate Gwen and laugh with her. She isn't weird at all. And why in hell did he want to fight me for Gwen? It's then that I replayed the conversation I had with Gwen her brother today. About how he told me that she dated one of those guys for years. What if the guy he was talking about was Gavin? What if I actually fought Gwen's ex boyfriend? I shook my head at the thought of it, I don't know the truth anyway. The only way to find out, is by waiting 'till Gwen is willing to fill me in. ‘Promise me you won’t become as me.’ I said. ‘No, I want to be like you!’ Endy answered. ‘Promise me.’ She shook her head. ‘Aha. I won’t.’ I stopped, putted my hand on her cheek and looked her in the eye. ‘Endy, please, promise me.’ She looked so desperate_ _. ‘Just promise, okay?’ She looked down and started moving her feet. ‘Fine, I promise.’_

 

 

How do you explain something like that to a girl, to one of the only persons you felt like you had the possibility to be friends with?

"Boys were teasing a friend of my sister. So I drove them apart, but then the big brother of one of those boys showed up and started beating me up. I hit him, he hit me back and that’s it." She pulled up her eyebrow like she didn’t believe me. Obviously I did leave out the fact that I fought Gavin and it was mostly about her.

‘Okay, let’s say this. I hit him, he almost fell, he jumped on me, tried to squeeze my throat so I threw him on the ground and told him to leave my friends alone or this wouldn’t end pretty.’ I was out of breath and took a pause. ‘Or something like that, it all went pretty quick.’ I added, ashamed again. We were standing there in silence for about 10 seconds when she finally opened her mouth to say something. ‘Oh.’ It was only a small whimper and her face was no longer pokerface. It was rather a surprised look. I mean it was better than nothing, right?

"So we have geography  the 5th hour, I was planning on asking you to sit next to me. But I’m going to rethink that, ‘cause I’m mad at you now.’ First I wasn’t really sure if she was serious but as she didn’t start laughing, I assumed she was. ‘So the hour after geography, we got biology, you want to sit next to me than?’ I dared to ask her, which made her start to smile. ‘I will think about it.’

Her smile was spread all over her face, as her red lipstick made everything even more beautiful. "You’re more beautiful with a smile." To my big surprise those words left my mouth, leaving both her and me startled. Where in hell did I find the courage to tell her something like that? As her shocked expression faded off, she started to blush at first. After that, she had this teasing glance in her eyes again.

‘I would love to punch you now, but I’m afraid you will start a fight if I do.’ She said with her poker face again. I started letting out one my way too country chuckles. One of those that if it wouldn't have been her, people would have made fun of me once again. But Gwen just burst out in laughter along with me. ‘So where were you in English?’ I asked her, when I remembered how badly I had noticed her absence and actually missed the blond drawing on the sides of her notes. ‘Wasn’t feeling very well this morning, but got to go now.’ I caught a look of her while she walked passed me. ‘See you in the 5th hour, Shelton.’ I looked over my shoulder as I give her a quick wink, leaving her blushing.


	4. Different People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First time mentioning Behati and No Doubt! Enjoy x

When the 5th hours started Gwen was sitting next to Pharrell. ‘Sweet, you were not only serious about this, but you also sit next to the only person I know in this classroom?’ Pharrell burst out in laughter. ‘I’m sorry bro, I know you tried to protect Finn, but you can’t refuse something from her.’ Gwen smiled while leaning in to give Pharrell a small kiss on his cheek. Which in all honesty made me frown and gave me an awkward feeling. "You guys know each other?" Pharrell asked while she threw her arms around his shoulder. "Yeah, he's the new country guy that I told you about." I stood there, like an idiot. Not knowing what to say or how to act. Pharrell gave me a closer look as he said: "Oh of course, the boots!" We were all laughing by then as the teacher walked in.

Just when I was thinking about sitting alone, I suddenly saw an empty seat next to Adam. ‘Hey", Adam smiled as he waved. I took that as an allowance to sit next to him. As I just had taken a seat, things were quiet for a bit. ‘Does it hurt?’ I look up at his face who gave me a frowning, pitiful glance. I started laughing. ‘You’re the first person that doesn’t even ask me what happened.’ Now he also started laughing. ‘You’re different, I like that.’ I said. ‘You look like a nice dude.’ He smiled and playfully gave me a kiss on the cheek. "What in hell was that for?" I asked startled to find a guy that's not me needing affection.

Then I heard Gwen her cute voice shine through. "Fuck off, Adam!" Which left the both of them laughing. "I'm sorry dude, Gwen was looking this way and I always make fun of how she's always kissing everyone's cheeks. Or well, Pharrell's mostly."

"Are they a couple?" Finally the burning question left my mouth. It had been circling in my mind the second I saw Gwen beam up at Pharrell with so much love. Adam burst out in laughter as he shook his head rapidly. "Ew, bro no! They have been friends since forever. They are literally brother and sister. Plus Pharrell has a girlfriend he's determined he's gonna marry one day."

 "She does look a lot this way though, I think she likes you", my head snapped up to Adam's as he looked me in the eye. "Seriously, you guys are always staring at each other. It's gross" Both Adam and I started laughing, me most of all because I know I stare at her. No way in hell she stares back at me sometimes. I didn't believe any of it, so I decided to change the subject.

"What about you, you have a girlfriend?" Immediately he unlocked eyes with me and focused somewhere in the back of the classroom. "I don't."

"Ohhhhh, but you do like someone, don't ya?" The guy shrugged and let out a huge sight while laughing a bit bitterly.

"I do, but she's too far out of my leak, dude", How in hell can a girl be out of his leak, not to sound gay or anything, but Adam sure as hell is pretty. His hair is so that every guy dreams about having it and I'm sure that he doesn't have any muscles too short. And being a leader in a high school rock band isn't a bad point either.

"Come on, dude! Who is she?"

"She's not in our class or anything..." He hesitated while looking down at his hands. Eventually he looked me in the eye as he started speaking again. "Her name is Behati." Even I had heard of her and I've only been here for a few weeks. Lots of people call her the beauty queen of Anaheim. She had blond hairs, always straight hanging around her head. Wore the most beautiful dresses which left every boy having dreams about her damned skinny legs. Also, she was very tall. So lots of people thought that one day she'd end up being a model. It wouldn't surprise me either. Everyone knew who she was, that much is true, but at the same time, nobody really knew her. What she was like. But from my experience with people like her, with the obvious beauty and the army of friends, she probably must have a huge ego.

As I didn't know what to answer, Adam decided to change the subject by saying: "What's life?" I burst out while remembering our English lesson from today. "What in hell was he thinking while giving us that essay? It was stupid aff!" I nodded at him, amused.

"Can I ask you something though?" I looked up at Adam giving him a questioning look, because well, of course he is allowed to ask me something. "sure."

"Was it worth it though?" He locked eyes with me as he went on. "beating Gavin up, I mean?" A little startled I snap my head at Adam. "How do you -" I started asking him when he raised one his eyebrows. "Everyone's talking about it, plus it isn't that hard to figure out if two guys both have a black eye. You won, right?" I felt a bit bad and awkward to talk about it, so it took me a long time to lock eyes with him again, let along answer him.

"Look, I'm not judging. I know how big of an ass he can be, truly. Just... don't let him get in your head too much." I felt his hand on my shoulder, giving me a supportive squeeze.

"Really though, you did win right?" I laughed at how he changed from being this cute bastard to being this curious clown. "You bet I did." He high fived me, right before the teacher asked us to keep quiet, which - as the good schoolboys we are- we did for about 5 minutes, 'till we found something else to talk about or to laugh with.

\----------

In between classes, I was standing in the hallway with Adam and some of his friends from Kara's Flowers when I saw Gwen talking to Gavin. At first the conversation looked a bit tensed, as she kept on frowning, but eventually I saw her hand reaching out to his black eye. Isn't that just great? I thought to myself. I even saw Gavin put his hand on top of hers and take it away from his face. They end up standing hand in hand for a little longer than a second, until I see Gwen pull her hand back to her. She ended up giving him one more smile, while rubbing his upper arm for a small second, until she walked away from him. Leaving him with a big, love fooled smile on his face.  The sparkle in his eyes betrayed the way he pretended to no longer be interested in her. No matter what the reason was they broke up, it sure as hell wasn't him who ended things for real. He still had too much love in his eyes. I saw him staring at her, 'till she was out of his side and him shaking his head for a second, returning to his cool self. So he seemed to be this bad boy, with only one weakness, one with long blond hairs and red lips. For a moment, I started to worry about what I was getting myself into. That maybe I shouldn't put my mind on her that much.

Adam shook my out of my thoughts again then, and I decided not to focus on what I just saw, and let things just go with the flow.

\--------------

I was sitting on a middle height branch of a tree in the corner of the playground waiting for Endy, when I saw Gwen leaving my sister's school building. She noticed me and walked slowly to the tree in which I was sitting. ‘Well I always thought you had a thing for monkeys, but never thought you were one.’ It didn’t even sound sarcastic. In a few second she climbed into the tree, which totally surprised me. ‘You think only boys can climb trees?’ Well I had to admit that I never thought she would climb in it. She's so girly all the time, being busy with all types of hairstyles and creating her own style. So it did surprise me that she just climbed in that tree as if it was nothing. She was talking about her niece who did ballet on the school team and for some reason her aunt couldn’t pick her up. After I told her about Endy and her being a member of the basketball team. ‘Endy is your sister, right?’ she asked.

 

‘My little sis", I noticed the way she stroke her hair behind her ear and pursed her lips together. ‘Having a big brother is so rad.’ She looked me in the eye, while I chuckled of her use of the word 'rad'. "I'm surrounded by my brothers. One of them calling me pet names all the time and the other one I can share my passion for music with." The word music really caught my attention. "What kinda music you listen to?"

"Ska, mostly. I would tell you something, but you are not allowed to make fun of it, ok?" I nod.

"I promise."

"My brother and his friends have started a ska band, called No doubt. -- And I'm kinda in it as well."

"Really? Wow that's so cool!" I said, genuinely excited, 'cause God, music seriously brings so many people together. How in hell did I start to make such cool friends? Adam being this rock and roll guy and Gwen being this ska chick. How in hell do they like such a country sasquatch as me? "Yeah, but that's not the thing... I wrote this song..."

she spoke hesitantly while she was playing with her hands, avoiding my eyes. It's the first time I noticed that her nails were manicured and with gold glitters on it. That was so cool, I made a mental note to complement her on it sometime. Not now though, I was too busy processing the coolness about this beautiful girl telling me she write songs.

"You write songs?" If I wasn't impressed already by her, I sure as hell was now.

"I do. But I have only shared one with No doubt." She was moving a little on the branch, searching for something in her pocket of her skinny jeans. Out of reflex, I put my hand on her back, to make sure she wouldn't fall off of the branch. She glanced at my arm and gave me a warm smile when she finally had accomplished to get her phone out of her pocket. She opened her Itunes and typed in: 'No Doubt'. She was about to put play on a song when I saw her hesitate. "I never let anyone outside No Doubt see or hear any of it..."

"I would love to hear it", I said immediately, to reassure her that she made the right choice about telling me.I pulled my hand towards her phone and placed my finger right above the song. "May I?" She nodded as I lowered my finger and put play on a song called 'Different People'. To be completely honest, I'm an Oklahoma boy. My favorite genre of music was country and I barely listened to anything but. Let along to ska music, I've barely heard of it. But the moment the song started I felt a vibe going through my veins as I looked up at her proudly as she blushed lightly. I started moving along to the beat of the intro. But as soon as the voice of the song cut through I snapped my head back at her. That's her? Wow, her voice is different. That's for sure. But I liked it, a lot. It sounded so unique, so rare.  Then those lyrics... It was a lot to progress all at once. Gwen, this beautiful princess with the softest voice from an angel also is this ska, rock and roll goddess with the most unique voice and a way of expressing her feelings from this world that leave me feeling bad for every opening my mouth.

The moment the song ended, I looked at her in awn. "Gwen, wow. You're so talented!" She laughed and shook her head. "It's just a song." I knew that it meant more to her than she let me know. But the fact that she had the talent to write something so meaningful with such a deep message, that she can express such a feeling in words is so admirable.

"Gwen, don't underestimate yourself! This is huge. Your talent is huge." She looked me in the eye now and gave me a small smile. For the first time ever, she leaned in and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "Thank you." I blushed, badly. Probably more than I should.

"I lied to you before, about never having anyone read my lyrics but the guys from no doubt.." She looked me in the eye as I rubbed my thumb, over back, considering my hand had never left her back. "I showed these lyrics to my ex-boyfriend.. and he didn't like it." I frowned a lot frustrated. Gavin Rossdaele. How in hell can you as a boyfriend not support her? Especially a song like this, a song that is this awesome. The only reason not to support her that came to my mind was jealousy. Knowing Gavin, he must've become jealous on how talented Gwen was, instead of supporting her. Maybe that was what caused their break up...

"He must've been deaf... or stupid. Maybe both. He probably did have a good vision, considering he dated you." She let out a shy giggle while putting her hand on my leg once again, her way of thanking me for the complement.

"So now, about the pet names, what does he call you?" I said, to make the mood lighter again.

"Mostly bunny... or Renée" I gave her a confounded look giving I didn't get the Renée part. "Yeah that's my second name", she said while chuckling.  "‘Renée, hah?" My face lighted up with a grin.

"You’re laughing with my name?’ She opened her mouth, to look as surprised and shocked. "You're mocking me?" She punched me, a little bit too hard considering I was out of balance and slighted a little bit forward. She grabbed my arm to make sure I didn’t fall, even though her small figure wasn't going to stop it from happening. Luckily, I didn't slight forward enough to glide off it.

‘I’m sorry, I totally forgot...’

‘...that we’re in a tree,’ I ended her sentence, grinning teasingly. ‘It’s ok,’ I said while she was still holding my arm. As much as I loved to feel her warm hand pressed against my upper arm, as weird and confusing it became for the both of us. Just when we started gazing in each other's eyes, forgetting the world around us and not wanting to let go of her chocolate brown ones, a voice interrupted us anyway.  Which made the both of us jump up. ‘So what are you guys doing in there?’ We looked down at the bottom of the tree, to see my sister standing there. The warmth of her hand on my arm disappeared and so did she. She climbed down the tree and smiled at Endy.

‘Hey girl, my name is-.’

‘-Renée.’ I interrupted her, teasing of course. She looked up at me with pinched little eyes. ‘Gwen.’ She corrected me while shaking Endy’s small hand. ‘I'm Endy’ She said with her adorable smile, keeping a radial distance. I was glad she did that, reasoning Endy always is a bit shy at first.  

‘You’re cute.’ With her hand she stroke her head for a small second. ‘But I have to go, lily is waiting for me.’ She took a short pause and went on. ‘Bye Endy,’ than she looked up at me again. ‘See you tomorrow , Blakey’ She gave me that little wink again, from which she knows that drive me nuts.

'see you soon, Renée"


	5. "hi"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An new person is being introduced x

‘So, is she your girlfriend?’  Endy’s question wasn’t really surprising, she always is the one to notice things first. ‘No pretty girl,’ I smiled. ‘Than why was she holding your arm?’ That was a question that was a bit more surprising though ‘Uh, well.. because I...’, I hesitated. ‘Well, because I almost fell out of the tree actually, why all those questions?’ Endy started laughing really hard and looked at me. ‘I think you likeeeee her!' I shook my head and laughed with her. ‘I think she's pretty great that's all’ I paused.

 ‘So little Ms. I-know-everything-better, how did your training go?’ I asked while laying my arm around her and giving her a head kiss. ‘Awesome! First we got our own team shirt, you want to see? I’m number 2 Shelton! And after we got it on, we started with a battle of two because ....’

\----------------

 ‘Hey Endy, I would love for you to meet Adam.’ I said. ‘Hi.’ Adam said. ‘I’m Endy.’ Endy pulled out her hand to shake his. Adam shook her hand and smiled brightly.

‘Adam, nice to meet you.’ he smiled and took Endy's hand. "You are very gorgeous, you must know." I saw Endy's cheeks turn briefly red, as she giggled at Adam. Well, I guess someone has crush. "So, where is that famous basketball field?’ Adam said. ‘ Because I heard only the best could be a member of this team.’ He added, pretending not to know Endy was one. ‘I am a member.’ Endy shouted proud. ‘You are? Wow!’ Adam acted all surprised, but of course he already knew because I had told him when I asked him to come along with us. ‘Good job, girl! High five!’ With a proud face, Endy gave Adam a high five. I was surprised how good Adam is with kids, I really didn't expect that from him. ‘This is Finn, he’s my best friend.’ I heard Endy say to Adam. "Hi Finn! You're Pharrell's nephew right?"

We have been playing basket for hours, but there was only one thing on my mind. Gwen. Is she picking up her niece today? Or what would she been doing now? Would she be at a dance club or something? Or doesn’t she dance? Or maybe she plays volleyball? Or isn’t she a sportive girl and is she watching series? Maybe she's writing another song again. I know so little about her, but yet, I feel like I know her so well. Like I have known her my entire life. ‘Pharrell!’ Someone shouted. Around 10 meter behind us there was standing a girl with twinkling eyes. Her mouth made an enormous smile when he turned around. When I looked over at Pharrell I noticed an even bigger smile on his face. ‘Helen!’ The long embrace ended with him giving her a forehead kiss and after they talked for a while they took each other hands and walked towards us.

‘This is Blake.’ He nodded at me and I gave her a little smile. ‘So you’re the famous cowboy.’ She let go of Pharrell's hand and pulled out her hand to shake mine. ‘I have heard so much about you, and not only from Pharrell.’ She pulled up one eyebrow. I must have had a strange look on my face what made her giggle. I shook her hand, still confused. ‘This is Helen, my gorgeous girlfriend.’ She smiled at Pharrell and pulled her arms around him as she attached her hands. When she noticed Adam in the background playing with the kids, she let go of Pharrell and walk over at him. "Hey rockstar, won't you come over here and hug me?" It's weird how I ended up in this group of friends without really realizing it at first. The moment Adam saw Helen, he ran towards her as he picked her up and threw her around while she let out a long, loud giggle.

Also Finn was very pleasant to see her, considering he jumped into her arms. ‘Helen!’ He cried.  She lifted him up, hugged him and putted him back on the ground. She stroke over his cheek while she told him how much she has missed him. ‘Endy!’ Finn shouted. ‘This is Helen, she’s awesome!’ Endy struggled over, like most of the time, insecure about talking to strangers. She pulled herself close to me. I putted my hand on her neck and brought myself on my knees to whisper in her ear: ‘Don’t be ashamed, she’s our friend.’ She nodded and pulled out her hand. ‘I’m Endy.’ She’s so extremely cute that sometimes I can’t even believe she's my sister. When I was her age, I was talking to everyone and wasn’t ashamed at all. Totally the opposite. ‘You’re cute.’ Helen said, what kind of reminded me on Gwen, who said exactly the same thing to my sister as Helen just did. She agreed on shaking Endy's hand and crouched beneath her. ‘Your shirt is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.’ She smiled and stood up again. Endy as proud as she already was on her basketball shirt was now even prouder than ever. ‘It was nice to meet you all, but I have to go now.’ She looked up at Pharrell, standing on her tips of her shoes for putting her red-collared lips on his. ‘I have to go and say hi to Gwen first, but I can come over tonight?’ She bit awkwardly on her lip, making me not want to imagine what they will end up doing. All I really heard was the name she mentioned. ‘Gwen as in Gwen Stefani?’ My question rolled out of my mouth before I could stop myself. ‘Yeah, she’s one of my best friends."

I heard Endy saying the next thing: ‘He’s in loooove with her.’ She started giggling and ran away as soon as she spoke those words, knowingly that I would chase her. ‘Endy!’ I shouted completely uncomfortable, especially 'cause I know that her comment made me blush. Pharrell on the other hand started laughing along with my sis and asked for a high five. I also saw Adam, who was standing next to me, shaking from laughing. And Helen tried to hold her laugh and just nodded. ‘Well, Gwen’s a pretty girl, can’t blame you for liking her.’ I could see she meant it completely. ‘I’m not..’ I tried to defend myself but she interrupted me.

‘Oh yes you do. Shall I give her a message from you?’ So I was thinking for a good message that didn’t say: I’m in love with you, but also didn’t try to deny it too much what would make me suspicious. ‘Just tell her I said hi.'’ She nodded friendly. ‘Okay, see you.’ She said to all of us while brushing her lips on Pharrell's one last time. ‘See you tonight, beautiful.’ He said while letting go of her hips, letting her walk away.

I was still thinking about what Helen had said: "I heard so much about you, and not only from Pharrell..." Then suddenly I understood. Gwen actually did talk about me, didn't she?

\-------------

"But this lesson I’m going to read the most...’ He paused. ‘...special ones of your short essays about life aloud.’ Well, this is going to be a very interesting lesson, I thought to myself sarcastically. "Okay class, I found them.’ He smiled and cleared his throat. ‘One of them was the one from Trey Atwood.’ I recognized his name immediately. He’s a friend of Gavin and I'm pretty sure that he was there after the training.

I looked over my shoulder in the back of the class where Trey was sitting. Gavin and his group where all laughing with him and giving him punches. ‘Good job bro.’ Gavin shouted sarcastic. It was easy to notice Trey's fake smile, as he laughed along with his so called friends.  You could see he was pretty serious about it, about English, about school.  Sad part is that he can't show it and was just laughing not to lose his ‘cool’ view. That way the gang wouldn’t see another part of him, the part where he really is focused on his studies or just something else than making fun of others. Our teacher obviously also noticed it and decided not to read his essay out loud. ‘Great job again, Trey.’ The teacher said as Trey nodded friendly but then started being the old Trey again.

"Then you of course have a whole other type of essay." He said. ‘Gavin Rossdaele’ Gavin started laughing really hard, so did his friends. I just rolled my eyes already while hearing his name.

‘I read aloud: Life sucks. The end.’ Everyone started laughing even harder, except for Adam, Pharrell and Gwen. I saw Gwen glance over at Gavin, while frowning her brows. That's when I saw Gavin making eye contact with her and just shrugging. Eventually he winked at her which made her let out a small smile. Ew gross, I thought. Ironically Mr. Blummert started applauding. ‘It’s almost as the theatre piece I told you about in my previous lesson, Breath by Samuel Beckett.’

To my biggest surprise, because Gwen was sitting right in front of me that lesson and I couldn't help but keep my eyes on her, I actually remembered him telling us all about the piece. Samuel Beckett was a popular theatre writer and thousands of people had paid so much to go to the piece. But what turned out was that the piece had a span of 30 seconds. The only thing you heard was a deep breath and the only thing you could see was a whole back of garbage. After the 30 seconds, it already ended. ‘Life sucks.’ Blummert repeated. He walked towards Gavin his desk and placed his hands on it. Blummert looked into his eyes which made Gavin keep quiet for a few seconds. ‘Life sucks.’ He said again, now the whole class was sitting there, in silence, the laughter which was there a few minutes ago, all disappeared.

‘Life sucks’ He repeated. ‘So will your points.’ He said almost whispering. His eyes weren’t so friendly any longer. After a few minutes he walked to the front again and changed his look again. ‘Now we’ve handle that.’ He said smiling. ‘The best of the class is Blake Shelton.’ It surprised me, how can I be the best? I just wrote some shit down? ‘Would you mind coming over here, and read your essay aloud?’  Before I knew I was standing  in front of my class in complete silence.  Not a single soul that dared to make a joke about how I looked right then, after Blummert shut down Gavin. I hate standing in front of an audience. I hate it when people look at me, it feels like they are judging me somehow. Let along speak out loud, what if I stumble over my words? Anyway, there I went: ‘It’s the oldest story in the world. One day, you’re seventeen...’ ’ When I looked at the class, all I saw was Gwen, who was smiling at me. I decided no longer to look at my paper but just talk to Gwen, like I always do. So I started over again, I can do this.

"One day, you’re seventeen and planning for someday, and then quietly without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And today is yesterday, and this is your life." I paused and cleared my throat, looked for a second to Adam and Pharrell, and looked back at Gwen who nodded to me and made the words: Go on. "Maybe some of you know that this is a quote from a tv-show called One tree hill. But what do I know about life? I’m seventeen. The only thing I know is that one day we get born and another day we die. And the span between it can be one day or maybe a hundred years. Another thing I know is one day we do die, and maybe that day will be there tomorrow, maybe that day is today. Maybe our life on earth, maybe it’s just one of the faces of real living. Maybe we have already lived and died a thousand times, but we simply don’t remember it ‘cause the memories die with us? Or maybe we do only live once. But that’s the thing about our life, most questions are unanswerable. But like I said, what do I know about life? Nothing."

Blummert was applauding again, but this time not sarcastic. Also Gwen started applauding, and soon most people of the class followed. When I looked in the back of the classroom, I saw Trey who nodded at me and applauded for a few seconds. But I didn’t care who else was applauding, as long as my best friends thought it was good,  then I’m happy. Then I believe it. I don’t need more than their 3 smiling faces. Next person I saw was Gavin, who looked furious at the place Gwen's sitting, who was happily and proudly applauding for me.

‘Great job, Blakey", Gwen's voice sounded behind me, as soon as I sat down again. ‘Thank you Renée’

"You have a way with words", God, she doesn't even have any idea about what a compliment that was coming from her. "Says the one who wrote one of the best songs I've ever heard."

"One of?" She raised her eyebrow while giving me a questioning look, which made me laugh.

"No seriously, what are your favourite songs?" Her question was a hard one though, 'cause for real, what are my favourite songs?

"God, Gwen, that's hard. From what you already know about me, I'm really into country." I gave her a small smile as she said: "you wouldn't say, cowboy. I want to know though" she took a pause while being a bit distracted for a moment.

 ‘Oh and hi back.’ I must've had a stupid face because I didn’t understand what she meant. ‘Helen’ She reminded me. ‘Oh.’ She smiled at me as she placed her small hand in mine to take me with her. ‘Can you wait a little?’ I asked her. ‘I want to ask Blummert something first.’ With her lovely smile she nodded and let go of my hand. ‘Sure, see you in French?’ I nodded and gave her a little wave. ‘Hey.’ Blummert looked up and smiled. ‘I was wondering if I could read Trey’s essay?’ He stopped looking at the paper but looked me in the eye. "Why would you want that?"

I’m not really sure why so I shrugged. "I would like to know what the others wrote down, ‘cause I don’t understand what’s so special about mine." It's the truth, but maybe not the full truth. Maybe I wanted to know what went on Trey's head. A friend of Gavin's. He nodded and sat down on his chair. ‘The others? You mean Trey’s?’ He smiled. ‘Why only Trey’s?’ I shrugged a second time. "We’ve both seen his look on his face when you read his name." I said to him. "He was happy that you liked it, sir.  But he just doesn't seem to have the right friends to share it with."

I saw on Blummert his face that I hadn’t convinced him for giving it to me, yet, so I went on. "Ever since I got here, in Anaheim, everyone’s the same. I’ve only met 3 people I actually genuinely like, well 4 if you count Finn in.’ I said more to myself than to Blummert. "I stopped believing that people can change. I stopped believing in the good in people. I want to find that again." I stopped for a few seconds and thought about what just rolled out of my mouth. Because was that really what happened here? Did I no longer believe in the existence of pure good? "And maybe there is a chance that I will find it back in Trey. I don't know... it's stupid, sorry for bothering you."  I took a deep breath and looked into Blummert ’s eyes. He nodded and searched something in his back. "It's not stupid boy." he said as he put a paper on his desk and walked away from it. "But I really can't GIVE it to you." With that he left me all alone in his classroom, with Trey's essay on the corner of his desk. It took me a minute to realise that he left it there for me to take. That way he never really gave it to me. It does make me a thief somehow, but I rather call it borrowing than stealing. So whatever.


	6. sharing is caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes Trey's essay. The essay itself isn't that important, really. A friend of mine (WhiteOrchids_ on twitter, you might know her) and I had been talking about life and the horror that comes with it sometimes. Thanks to our conversation, that found place like almost a year ago already, we started writing down our thoughts. And I saved it in word document for ages, until I finally found something to do with it, in this story. So it's just a random theory that WhiteOrchids_ kinda came up with one day. So enjoy her brilliant mind. x

‘Take a seat, Mr. Shelton,’ My teacher from French said. I didn’t expect him to see me sneaking in because apparently how deaf the man is, his eyes still work as the best. I pursed my lips together and turned around towards him. ‘I’m so sorry.’ I shouted so he would understand me apparently a little bit too loud, which left the whole class laughing. Including Gwen who was giggling while reaching for my hand, which made me walk towards her desk. ‘I’m not deaf and take a seat now!’ He shouted back, somewhat frustrated. Trying to hold my laugh, I turned back around and walked towards Gwen's desk where I took a seat. ‘Sorry, Gwen, took a little bit longer than I thought.’ She nodded and made clear it was ok by laying her head - for just a second - on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, enjoying her touch. 

The hour went by slow at first, even though I was sitting next to Gwen. Usually in French you can easily talk with your neighbour, but considering I got in late, the man's been focusing on me. And whenever me or Gwen said a word to each other, he caught us and demanded us to be quiet. Eventually, after a warning or 3, we did. Then she took a empty paper sheet as she started numbering down from 1 to 3, twice. Above the first she wrote in capitals: BEST COWBOY EVER, which made me already let out a chuckle, which again was caught by the teacher who gave me an angry look. Gwen grinned up at me, which made it all worth it. Above the next one I saw her write down: THE QUEEN (aka me), I tried to hold back my laughter as I hid my mouth behind my hands. I shook my head while looking at her with a soft smile on my face.

It's then that she starts to fill in the three points under 'the queen'. After 5 minutes, she swiped the paper sheet my way.

"THE QUEEN (ake me)

  1. And your birth can sing - The Beatles
  2. Hotline Bling - Drake
  3. We don't have to take our clothes off - Ella Eyre"



I smiled at her list as I ripped her top 3 off and placed it in my pocket. Then I took the paper closer to me as I start thinking about my own top 3. That's a tough one.

"BEST COWBOY EVER

  1. God gave me you \- Dave Barnes
  2. Fast cars and freedom - Rascal Flatts
  3. Are you gonna kiss me or not - Thompson Square"



I slighted it right back at her with a wink when she gave me an adorable smile, as she also put my paper in her pocket of her jeans. She leant into me and whispered in my ear: "can't wait to listen to them"

\-----------------

 

> _John Green once wrote:_
> 
> _ <what’s the point of being alive if you don’t try to do something remarkable?>_
> 
> _Our future is insecure and more than the half of the population is afraid for the future. And sometimes the future frightens me. But the thing that frightens me the most is that this all can end in one day. Today I’m sitting in this classroom, writing this. But there is a change that tomorrow I’m gone. Every single second someone in this world has died. I started with this essay 5 minutes ago, what makes 300seconds. That means that in the time I’ve been writing this, 300 people died. Maybe tonight I’ll be one of them: I get hit by a car and die, or maybe I’m on the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe someone kills me. That’s what frightens me, because if I die tomorrow, than what was my point of being alive? Was my destiny just to be hit by a car? Because I believe that everyone’s special, that everyone makes a difference in this world. But until now, I haven’t done anything to deserve this life. I haven’t meant a difference to this world. All I’ve done is being a total jerk. It makes you wonder: <Do I really want to be this person my entire life?>_
> 
> _Right now 600 people their lives ended but also 600 new souls have been made. I think that there is a possibility that the death souls from the one who died, reunited in the new souls, the babies. I think that there is a chance that this is how life goes. The people who did what they were supposed to do, cross over and go to whatever’s after life, but the people who did not do the things they were supposed to do, stay here and come back in another body with another life, a new chance. How long you stuck around on this earth, depends on how many chances you need to become the person the earth wants you to become. How many times you have to do life over and over again to finally be who you want to be, to finally be a good person. To finally have led the life you wanted.  That’s why the population has kept growing. Because a lot of people had to do life a few times to be who they are supposed to be. Life also keeps creating new souls, who on their own also have to do life over and over again until they are who the earth wants them to be. So there are no evil people, the ‘evil people’ that exist are only in their first life, they have to grow throughout their lives to become a better person._
> 
> _Or maybe I just want to see it this way because I’m too young to already believe in the existing of pure evil. We all need something to believe in. So don’t judge me for who I am and what I wrote here._
> 
> _Trey Atwood_

 

I had to read the second paragraph a few time to understand it completely. When I finally understood everything I started wondering. Maybe he’s right, maybe we do have to live life more often to become whom the earth wants us to be, to all end as good persons. That nobody ends up in the hell, ‘cause eventually every bad person becomes a good person, throughout the lives. That eventually, every soul, even the ones who once where bad, end up being good. I like that thought.  And eventually all the souls come back together, in whatever is after life. We all will reunite with the ones we love. It gave me a whole other view on how I see Trey, honestly. I quote him: makes you wonder: “Do I really want to be this person my entire life?” Throughout his essay I got the feeling that the answer on his question is no. I got the feeling he wants to change but has no clue how. Also the way he thinks surprised me. He tries to think peaceful in this evil world. But I don’t think his theory is right, but it’s as he says, maybe it’s just a way not to see the evil which is life. Immediately after reading this I wanted to share my thoughts on it with Gwen. To see what she thinks of it and whether she believes in hell/heaven. To get to know her. But I know I shouldn't do this. That I don't have the right to share the thoughts of Trey Atwood. I didn't even have the permission to read this in the first place. I hate that I can't share this with Gwen.

‘What are you reading?’ Speaking about Gwen, she just walked in my room with Endy on her hand. She was wearing a baggy blue jeans with a white shirt on it, written in black letters: KARA'S FLOWERS. Her blond hair had formed two braids which were lying on both her shoulders. The braids looked so adorable on her. ‘you're here.’ I smiled while hiding Trey’s essay under some other papers with Shakespeare sonnets on it. ‘I’m just reading some Shakespeare sonnets.’ I lied while I stood up to go over and place a kiss on her cheek. I wasn’t quite sure about how to act, should I wave or hug her or what? Clearly Gwen didn’t seem to worry about it and embraced me. ‘Cool, which one are you reading?’ The first one which came into my head. ‘My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun’ I started. ‘Corals are far more red than her lips red.’ She added to make clear she knew it. Off my desk she took the papers and sat on my bed. ‘Your hair’s cute.’ But I felt kind of awkward so I added: ‘Well, I’m just going to the toilet and then I’m ready to leave.’ She smiled at me and nodded. ‘Ok and thanks.’ She said while taking up one of her braids. ‘Smooth.’ Endy said laughing while I left the room. ‘Shut up and keep her company.’ I punched her teasingly into my room as I went to the toilet.

\------

‘So are you ready to leave?’ I asked them when I returned to my room. Endy was playing a game on Gwen's phone while Gwen still had the papers in her hands. ‘Reading Shakespeare, ah?’ She said sarcasticly while she held up a paper. ‘Why do you have Trey’s essay?’ I tried to say something but I couldn’t say that Blummert allowed me to take it with me, it would be as breaking his trust. ‘Ok I don't care why you have it, more important, why did you lie about it? And why a friend of Gavin's?’ I scratched my head and sat down next to her on my bed. ‘I didn’t really lie, I have been reading Shakespeare, I just didn’t told everything.’ I said, while frowning my brows at my own words. I'm such an idiot. ‘There is a difference.’ She stood up and took up her back she had placed on the ground a few minutes ago. ‘I think I’m going home,’ Gwen said as she walked towards the door. ‘Gwen Renée, please, don’t.’


	7. God gave me you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy!

‘Gwen Renée, please, don’t.’

She turned around and took a few steps back into my room. She sighted and took one step closer to me. ‘I don’t want to be lied to.’ I nodded and made a sign she had to come back to sitting next to me, which she did, luckily.  ‘I promised Blummert not to tell anyone.’ I told her. Well I didn't actually promised Blummert, but it's the right thing to do. That's what I'm convincing myself.

‘I’m not anyone, or am I?’, Gwen said, still sounding mad.  ‘No, you’re Gwen Stefani.’ I gave her a little punch but she didn’t answer it. . Instead she just kept looking down at her pink all stars. I looked at my sister Endy, indicating we needed some time alone. Luckily she understood my look immediately as she put down Gwen's phone and left my room, closing the door. I still don't know what happened to Gwen, what made her so terrified of being "lied" to. But I find it my mission to make her  believe in me. And in herself. "Look, everyone I once trusted have disappointed me. I had a girlfriend, named Miranda, back in Oklahoma. And she broke my trust. So it's hard to let you fully in. You do know that somehow I know I can trust you right?’ After a while she shrugged. ‘Do you?’ I stood up and putted out my hand to pull her up.  Eventually She took my hand and stood up.

"Why do you care about Trey though?" she asked, sounding bitterly.

"Why do you care about Gavin?" My question was direct, but I regretted it immediately. Afraid she was indeed going to take off right now. Instead she just sighted as she leaned in to me, pulling her arms around my chest. Without thinking about it, I pulled my arms around her as well as I felt her sink into my embrace. "It's not the same." she said eventually.

"I know, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry"

"Gavin, he just -- he's..." She hesitated for a while, before she pulled her head out of my chest to look me in the eye. Still having her hands attached around my chest, though.

"He was--"

"Your boyfriend?" She was no longer looking me in the eye when I asked her. Immediately I put my hand on her chin, to make her look me in the eye again. When she finally did, I just gave her a small smile, insuring her everything's ok. 

"Yeah... I just -- I found out the guy that did this..." She placed one of her hands on my eye which was still swollen, which made me shiver a little. "...to you, was Gavin. I didn't tell you before because I was afraid you would think less of me." I gave her a confused look.

"For getting involved with him..." I shake my head immediately when I heard her voice crack, trying to hold back her tears. My arms pulled her closer to me again, hugging her tightly. "Gwen, let me ask you something. Did you love him?" For over ten second, she kept quiet. Just when I was about to start being afraid that I went too far by asking such a question, I felt her nod her head. "I did."

"Then why in hell would I think less of you?" I made her look into my eyes once again before I went on. "Why would I like you less because you tried to see the best in someone? To be completely honest, I like you even more for it, if that is even possible."

 ‘Are you guys coming?’ Endy's voice interrupted from outside the door. ‘They are waiting for us.’ Oh yeah, Adam, Pharrell and Finn were waiting for us to come to a basket field some streets away from here. I caught a look from Gwen and heard her saying we’re ready. She took her jacked from my bed as she returned to my arms. Suddenly her hand was on my cheek, stroking with her thumb. "Thank you for liking me." I smile at her. "It's my pleasure."

Endy started to knock on the door again, which made both of us burst out in laughter from her impatience. In a second Gwen was walking down the stairs with Endy.

While we were walking towards the field, Endy was starting a conversation about a game she had played at Finn’s. Gwen and I were walking next to each other and Endy was already a 2 meters before us. But as insecure I am about Gwen, I did eventually find the courage to put my arm around her back which brought a smile on her face. Not much later, I also felt Gwen's small hand on my hip. ‘Are we almost there, captain Shelton?’ She asked Endy who was still walking in front of us. ‘Yes, almost.’

\----------------------------

When we arrived at the field Pharrell and Finn were already playing a game. In the meantime Adam and Helen were sitting on a tribune, pretending to be a broadcast. ‘And here he goes, people, Finn Williams.’ Adam was using his radio-voice. ‘He’s going to make it! There he goes!’ He started shouting. ‘And goal! 3-2 for team Finn!’ He shouted enthusiastic. Gwen let go of my back, which made me immediately miss her warm hand pressed on my back as she ran towards Helen. ‘Honey!’ She said smiling and embraced Helen. Automatically Endy started playing in team Finn which became team Wolfs which was the name of their school team. First I went say hey to Adam by giving him a small hug and after that, I did the same to Helen. "Nice to see you, again.’ She smiled lovely.

‘Uh yeah, nice to see you too.’ I answered with a smile. ‘I’m going to help Pharrell, otherwise he’s going to lose from the Wolfs. When I started running towards P I heard Helen say with her pouting voice: ‘What? He’s hot.’ When I looked over my shoulder at Helen, a little startled, I saw her talking to Gwen, both having their eyes on me.  ‘Let’s take the wolfs down!’ Pharrell shouted at me. ‘Yeah team ravens!’ I said, laughing. ‘Welcome to the game Ravens vs. Wolfs.’ Adam started again. ‘It is believed to become an overwhelming game.’ I saw Gwen taking place next to Adam as she threw her arms around him, enjoying the cold summer breeze against her soft skin.

‘No, you did great honey.’ Helen's voice said to P. ‘Well, I’ve always known you’re a loser.’ Gwen smiled. ‘Well Gweny, thank you, it means a lot coming out of your mouth.’ I laughed. Meanwhile Adam was focusing on the kids who where teaching him how to make a good shot. ‘So, you also think I’m hot?’ I said laughing. She hit her face in her hands and started laughing. ‘You heard her saying that?’ I nodded and gave her a little punch. ‘Well, every time I see you I’m still amazed about your humour, cuteness and..’ I stopped for a few seconds. ‘...hotness."

Her lovely smile was back. ‘You’re not so bad yourself, Blake’ With a surprised face I looked at her. ‘Since when do you call me just Blake? No Blakey, Shelton or cowboy?’ She stroke some hairs that came out of her braids behind her ears. ‘Since when do you call me Gweny?’ I laughed because I thought she hadn’t noticed. ‘Touché.’ All of us became too tired to play further so we decided to go to Gwen's home because her parents had taken off for the weekend.

‘Oh Gwen, is that you?’ I pointed to a brown curly haired three year old on a family picture which was hanging on her fridge. The picture was encircled by all kinds of drawings. Some of them were clearly made by a kid -which were from Gwen, considering her name was on it- but others were made recently.

"Stop it!" She took down the picture and putted it in a box on the table. "I hate that picture. And for some reason my parents always wants to hang it there.’ She said pretty frustrated while she was blushing. ‘Well Gwen, that’s because you look adorable on it.’ Never in my life have I meant something more. On the picture she was wearing a pink onesie with little hearts on it while she was standing hand in hand with -which I assumed was one of her brothers. In her empty hand she was holding a barbie doll.

‘Can I see some more pictures of you as a kid?’ She started laughing. ‘No way.’ I kept looking at her while she tried to ignore my look by searching for something in the kitchen. God, the more I look at her the more I think: "ain't she beautiful?"

When I was standing right in front of her, and her eyes met mine, she could no longer ignore me. ‘I haven’t seen any pictures of you as a kid either.’ Ok she was right about that, but I wouldn’t mind showing her. ‘Well, you only have to look at Endy to see the little me. Male version though.’ I said eventually, to make her laugh again. That beaming smile that made her eyes sparkle. ‘And if you want to see it, then you should come over tomorrow.’ I said while placing one of my hands on her hip, which made her come closer towards me. It was obvious that I was trying to find a reason to see her again. ‘Maybe I will.’ She had thrown one of her arms over my shoulder and I felt her thumb stroking over the back of my neck. It was in that moment that Pharrell entered the kitchen, followed by a slow Adam. Without hesitating I dropped my hand off of her hip as she pulled her arm away from my shoulder and nonchalantly stroke through her hair to hide our physical contact.

Pharrell looked at us for just a small second, before he placed himself on top of her kitchen table. "Adam had an idea", He started the conversation, ignoring the fact that he obviously was aware that he interrupted a moment between us. Thank God he didn't point us on it, that would only have made things awkward. But then again, that's something I had already noticed about Pharrell, with him everything is at ease. He doesn't judge you for anything you'll do or in my case for my clothes or my southern accent. If I think about it myself, he had a unique style himself. Every single one of my new friend group had. Gwen was the cool rock and roll star who at the same time is this adorable princess, wearing seen through clothes from time to time with under it a baggy jeans with sneakers. Adam was the softy with his flour shirts and ripped jeans but his perfect hair. Then you have Pharrell who's always wearing all kind of hats, adidas training pants with simple shirts above it. And well me, the cowboy with a jeans, flannel shirts, cowboy boots and the crazy curly hair. To many, we might look like a group alternative weirdos. But that's the fun part, isn't it?

"So Adam wanted to play us his new song he wrote!" Pharrell said excited while Adam gave us his crazy thumbs up. "Actually I wrote it along with James." I laughed at how proud he already was, and how he was already acting like a rockstar, giving his friend some credit as well.

In the month I've been here, I did not only learn about Gwen and her band called No doubt, but also about Adam Levine and his band named Kara's Flowers. He started this band a few years ago with some of his friends, including James Valentine. I haven't heard any songs of them just yet, but I feel like that is about to change soon. Over the years, they actually have become very popular here in Anaheim. It wouldn't surprise me if they would actually make it pretty far. The moment they started to have more and more fans, they did start discussing about changing their name into something different. I've heard many things to be completely honest, but they haven't figured it out yet. Who knows, maybe they will just stay Kara's Flowers after all.

"Yeah, it's called 'She Will Be Loved', where's your brother's guitar, Gwen?"

Gwen told us to start following her to the living room, where Helen was still playing with the kids. In a matter of seconds, Adam was sitting on her couch with a guitar. Pharrell, Helen and I were sitting on the couch in front of him. Gwen walked straight passed Pharrell and Helen to come and sit next to me. P was a bit surprised considering he had left a seat for het on purpose, but at the same time you could see that he was very much amused. I ignored his constant burying glance on me and nonchalantly wrapped my arm around Gwen's small body, which made her lean her back into my chest and place her legs on Pharrell's lap. "Go for it, rockstar!" I said to Adam who smirked at my comment.

An acoustic guitar tune started which brought me back to my country roots for a quick second. One of my hands were slightly stroking one of Gwen's arms on the beat of the song.

Adam was playing his guitar and singing his lyrics with his eyes closed. I was so surprised about the strength of his voice, especially about how he could hit the high notes.

The moment the song ended and Adam played his last note on the guitar, we were all laughed applauding. Somewhere in the middle of the song, Gwen her eyes had started to well up which made me put my other arm around her as well, pulling her closer to me.

"You made me cry!" She pouted while pointing her finger to Adam who laughed with her reaction. Also Helen was very excited, but Pharrell literally was speechless. Me in the meantime had putted my head on Gwen's shoulder, trying to comfort her. Even though it were happy tears somehow, because of a song, it still broke my heart to see her cry. She leant her head against mine for a second. "Adam, you're crazy good, man! Those high notes blew me away." He gave me a thankful smile. After that Pharrell started talking big, that it would be a shame if they wouldn't make an official record out of that song. The guy always was talking about wanting to become a producer, so he had big dreams about actually producing this song. After around 20 minutes of daydreaming and about Adam and Pharrell being convinced that they should at least try to collaborate and bring this one out for real, all eyes were locked on mine. Helen had just asked me whether I could do anything with music.

Seconds went by, with me not saying a word, before I stood up and let go of Gwen's body to pick the guitar out of Adam's hands. I took place next to Adam on the couch and placed the guitar on me.

"My brother taught me how to play. We did grew up in Oklahoma, so don't be surprise that this is gonna be a country song." he chuckled, as I saw them all smiling. Except for Gwen who was a bit confused after me mentioning my brother. I never had talked about him before and in my house she had only seen my sister. So I get her confusion. Soon a smile appeared on her face though as she looked at me, proudly already.

"I've been a broken heartache, I've made a mess of me. The person that I've been lately, ain't who I wanna be..." I decided to play them a song called "God Gave Me You", a single by Dave Barnes. I mostly close my eyes when I sing, but when I opened it for a second, I saw Gwen singing along to the lyrics. At first I was a little startled about her knowing a county song, but quickly I realised that she must've actually listened to my top 3 I gave her. I mean, I did as well listen to her top 3, but I never expected her to actually care enough to read it as well. I don't know.

 "Wow, how come you didn't tell me that you were this musically gifted?" Gwen jumped up as soon as the song ended, literally jumping out of relaxed, country mood. She placed herself next to me, being in total shock. "I did tell you I adore country music."

"You didn't tell me that you would make a perfect king in country music, though!" Gwen her voice was so high as she was surprised, which made me grin.

"Dude, I thought I hated country music, but that right there was magic!" Adam said

"Once you're done with high school, you have to go to nashville!" Pharrell meant it, which I appreciated, considering I had actually already been thinking about that.

"Plus, you are the whole package, with the dimples and stuff!" Helen said which made both Gwen and Pharrell turn their heads towards her. "What about me?" Pharrell said cheesy, asking for love from Helen which made her giggle while leaning in to him and placing her lips on his. Adam started rolling his eyes at the cheesiness.

When the guys and Helen decided to pick themselves up and leave, Endy was becoming a bit tired as well, so we decided to go home, too. Gwen hugged my blond sister and gave her a little kiss on her cheek. And so she did the same with me. While walking out of the door I asked: ‘See you tomorrow?’ She smiled and nodded. ‘With pleasure.’ Already outside her house I shouted:  "Don’t forget your photo book!"


	8. he isn't in there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Photobook time!

After I dropped off Endy at her basketball training, I went back home. It was around 2PM but I had no idea of what time Gwen was coming over at my place. So I didn’t really hurry myself, she probably wasn't gonna be there already anyway. When I finally reached home, my suspicion turned out to be right, as I saw that there was no one at my front door. When I inserted my key into my door, I heard some giggling coming from behind me. Probably those weird girls I have as neighbours. Every time I walk past their door, they are giggling for some reason. It used to be way more frustrating when I just got here. Being new in a city when nobody is nice to you and always be laughed at for whatever you do. So in the beginning, when you hear someone laugh, you think it’s because of you, what makes you frustrated. But actually, they are just usual girls who are like giggling all the time. So it did not really bother me anymore, in contrary. I started to smile at them, which made them all smile and blush slightly.

After I opened the door, I heard another a giggle, but it seemed closer to me than my neighbours house. Which made me suspect something ad made me look at their house where I also didn’t see the girls. Just when I decided just to get inside anyway, ignoring the voices that apparently were inside my head, I heard someone saying my name. When I looked behind me again, I didn’t see anyone. Even though I don’t believe in ghosts or anything supernatural, this was close to one of those usual horror movies. ‘Blake!’ Okay, now I finally recognized the voice. Gwen.

Even though I didn’t know where she was, I knew she could see me so I just started smiling, showing my dimples. "In here, cowboy!’ Gwen’s voice said. My eyes met a tree which was like 15 steps away from me in which a beautiful girl with a purple cute dress was sitting, with her hair brushed down to the back and formed together a beautiful, blond, curly ponytail. Her mouth made her typical lovely smile as usual, and her eyes were twinkling.

‘Gwen!’ I said, laughing with myself because of me thinking about ghosts or something, no way in hell I was gonna share my thoughts about that one. In reality, it turned out to be one hell of a gorgeous ghost. ‘Blakey,’ I walked towards the tree while she was climbing out of it. Just when I was standing right under the tree if suddenly a branch broke off on which Gwen was standing with one of her feet. ‘Oh damn it.’ For a few seconds Gwen was able to keep her balance but eventually her other feet slipped away as well. I automatically opened my arms to catch her small figure falling in my embrace. While laying in my arms, we both started laughing really hard. ‘What a catch.’ She said barely understandable because of our laughter.

 When I finally placed her back on the ground, Gwen went with her tiny hand through my hair, because it probably was all out of shape. She most likely did it without realising it, considering suddenly her movement froze as she looked in my eyes. For the first time, she didn't pull her hand back right away, but she simply gave me a small smile.  In the meantime she kept on adjusting my hair which made me grin at her. ‘What a great trust exercise.’ I added while still smiling to laugh the slightly awkwardly atmosphere away. She smiled at my stupid joke while she slightly leaned in, to give me a kiss on my cheek. ‘You’re my personal saviour.’ Her soft voice said softly. ‘Thank you. By the way, I'm wairing purple! purple! I never wear that colour!" Immediately I started laughinh with her silliness, "it looks good on you." I took her hand and leaded her towards the door. ‘Ladies first.’

\-------

‘You were so adorable back then!’ She said while looking into one of my photo album. ‘Back then? How about now?’I saw her hesitating but eventually she shrugged. ‘I think Endy’s cuter.’ Smiling I gave her a little punch. ‘You teaser.’ After a few pictures had passed, there was a picture of me and my dad in it when we went fishing for the first time. I was holding an enormous fish and my dad was standing behind me with his thumbs up. ‘Wow, is that your brother?’ I nodded while I placed myself next to her on the couch.

‘You look so much like him!’ While holding the picture of my brother, Richi, next to my head. ‘Do I?’ She putted the photo back in the album, as she kept staring at it.

"What's his name?’ Gwen asked while going back to the fishing picture.

‘Richie,’ I paused. ‘It’s only on that picture that we look alike. I really don’t look like him at all.’ I said, while putting my arm around her, nonchalantly. She didn’t seem to believe me which made her take another album and opened it, on the first page –like in all my photo albums- there was standing my age on. 16 years. It was the very last one made by my mom, around 6 months ago. It had become a tradition to make those albums, so even though my brother died not much before that, my mom finished it anyway. Denying the fact that anyone changed. Pretending that nothing changed by just going on with life, and doing the things she used to do. She wasn't able to do that for long though, it's one of the seven stages of grief. Luckily, you don't stay stuck in one.

Gwen started browsing through the album of my sixteenth year, probably searching for another picture of my brother to make her statement. I hesitated, not knowing how to tell her what happened.

‘You will not find him in there.’ I sighted, barely understandable. But I know she did understand anyway, as she gazed up, waiting for me to go on.  ‘He’s not in there.’ Suddenly there was a huge amount of worry in her eyes, letting the sparkle in her eyes disappear. ‘He died almost a years ago.’ I spoke up, which created a silence for seconds. ‘Oh god, Blake...’ It was one of the first times she hadn’t anything ready to say. Her tiny fingers wrapped themselves around my arm as she saw my eyes started to fill. ‘I’m so sorry.’ Her face was a bit shy and worried as she moved her hand up from my arm towards my cheek. My eyes locked with hers to find tears in them as well. God, this girl...

‘It’s okay, you couldn’t know unless I told you.’ She smiled lovely and stroked my cheek. Eventually her head came to rest on my shoulder.  With my arm still around her I pulled her in, closer to me. ‘Maybe we should watch some more little Gwennies.’ I said smiling while taking a pink soft album Gwen had brought with her.

‘Our little Gwen’ I read aloud, which was written with a light blue ink, with a beautiful signature. ‘You are a real life becoming dream.’ My eyes looked over at Gwen, who had been moving around to rest her head down on my lap, I went on. 'October 3, happy birthday Gwen.’ She pushed herself more up so her back was resting on my lap instead of her head. ‘Well, they are the luckiest persons in the entire world to have you.’ When she looked me in the eye, she started blushing and smiled again. Being so close to her face made me see things I’ve never seen her before. Lightly there were brown freckles around her noise which were remarkable small. Her eyes seemed a range of brown colours, being encircled by a very volume mascara. On her lips, there was a thin layer of pink with glitter lipgloss, which looked so good on her, especially in contrast with her - by the sun browned- skin.

  ’Why are you staring at me?’ She asked softly, while keeping her eyes on mine. ‘Because you’re beautiful.’ She started blushing even more and turned her head modest away. Quickly I returned to the photo album, to not make things awkward for her. "Your parents look so in love in this picture", I pointed to one of the pictures, them being  on vacation, just staring into each other's eyes while being wrapped in each other's arms. Having no eyes for the camera, probably not even noticing it at all. "They still are. Actually, they met in high school as well." I was just taking a sip from my water, when I started coughing considering I chocked in my water. _As well_? Did she seriously just compared our friendship, relationship or whatever we're in to the true love that her parents seem to have.

At first she had no clue what  made me almost spit out my water, and just looked at me all worried, while rubbing my back. But the moment I gave her a glance, I saw her eyes widen. Probably just then realising what she said. Obviously, it was clear that we both liked each other, like a lot. So I really didn't mind the comment. But surprised I was indeed.

Suddenly I realised me spitting out my water probably wasn't that good of a reaction to her openness and kindness, so I started to get myself together by giving her a shy smile. "They did?" She ended up nodding.

"It must be one hell of a love to be able to keep it lit all this years."

"25 years already. It's so rad- truly." She kept her gaze on the picture of her parents from years ago as she traced it with her finger.

 ‘So shouldn’t we pick up Endy?’ I tried to move my pullover which fell over my watch. ‘Yes we do.’ Gwen jumped off my chest and reached her hands to pull me up. ‘Well then let’s go.’


	9. a deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one of the last chapters I'll upload, so enjoy!

‘Is it okay if I’ll go check in the dressing room to find Endy somewhere?’ I asked Gwen. "of course, I’ll be right here.’ She smiled that big smile of hers so I went inside considering she was talking to a friend called Chelsea, who we ran into, I decided to just let her talk. "I’ll be right back", I reminded her, to comfort her considering she once told me she was afraid of the dark.

A few minutes later I went back outside, Endy still in the dressing room. It was 7PM but it was already very dark outside. When I made my first step outside I saw Chelsea talking to someone that was 't Gwen. So I started my search for her, as I heard Gwen's frustrated voice. ‘No, don’t!’ I followed the direction of where her voice came from which led to the storage. ‘Stop it!’  She screamed now. When I entered the storage I saw Gwen pushed against the wall with a boy right in front of her. His right hand placed on a side of her face what prevented her from walking away. His left hand placed on her right cheek. ‘Gavin, get off me!’ My anger started pulling up even more when I heard her mention his name. Before I knew I started running towards them and jumped on him. A few seconds later we were both laying on the ground.

‘You heard the girl.’ I said while pulling him by his collar against the closest wall. ‘Blake!’ Gwen’s voice came from behind me. ‘Let him go.’ I heard her voice, but the anger that had built up inside of me was boiling. I retook my grab on his collar as I pushed him against the wall one more time. It's then that I felt Gwen's hand on top of my shoulder, which made me shiver. "Blake, you're scaring me." By not only hearing those words, but also hearing the voice that had produced them shaking, I opened my fists and let go of him.

When I looked back at Gavin whose head was bleeding, probably from that punch against the wall, I started concentrating on my heartbeat which I noticed now was going way too fast. Afraid of myself I started walking around in the storage with my hands through my hair. Gwen on the other hand was sitting besides Gavin and putted her hand on the back of his head where he was bleeding. ‘You’re a jerk.’ She whispered, but yet she still held a tissue which she just putted out of her back on his head. I stood a few steps away from Gwen who was now pulling her arm around Gavin to pull him up. She didn’t even looked at me once since I walked away from him, which I deserved. They stumbled over **.** ‘Gwen...’ I said quiet. Hoping for her to notice me, hoping for her to walk towards and me and hug me.

‘You shouldn't 've. ’ She said instead, now looking me in the eye while shaking her head.

 I turned my eyes away from her, thinking I didn’t even deserved to be looked in the eye by her, like ever. When I looked back at her, she already turned away from me and walked away with Gavin still leaning on her shoulder. He was such an  attention seeker. God knows I went too far, but he's pretending like I beat the crap out of him which made him unable to walk. Eventually I sat down between the bicycles with right in front of me a window which reflected myself. I realized when I watched myself sitting there on the ground, I disgusted myself.  As soon as possible, I took my phone and started writing a message to Gwen. But then I remembered how she had looked at me. Like I was a lost cause, a problem. I also heard her voice in my head again, telling me that I scared her. Not Gavin. I did. I scared her. I deleted the message and put my phone in my pocket once again..’ Taking a deep breath I stood up and walked out of the storage to pick up Endy, who was probably wondering where I went. 

\-------

‘What’s wrong?’ The most adorable girl asked me. ‘Why would something be wrong?’ I answered Endy who was laying in my arms on my bed. For a while she didn’t say anything, but then she sat up and reached her hand. I took it and let her believe she pulled me up all by herself while actually I did it myself. ‘Tell me.’ She said with her eyes locked on mine. Searching for some pillows to make ourselves comfortable I started talking. ‘I got in to a fight again.’ I said while rolling my eyes - ashamed - away.

‘Go on.’ She said while putting her little hand on my leg. ‘A boy was irritating Gwen, so I jumped on him.’ I said now with tears in my eyes. Her hand disappeared from my leg and putted it on my cheek to wipe away a tear. ‘Gwen’s terribly mad, and I’m not sure this will ever be okay again.’ I paused and continued. ‘I can’t blame her. Maybe it’s better if she stays away from me.’ She didn’t say a thing but just pulled her arms around my neck to hug me. And putted her lips on my forehead and said: ‘We’ll get through this together.’

Exactly the same things I do every time she’s feeling bad, including the ‘we’ll get through this together.’ And then she went on with what I always tell her. ‘As  long as we have each other, we’ll never be alone. I will never ever leave you. We’ve been through worse.’ She paused and thought for a while about what was coming next which made me smile. ‘And one day, there will be more than just us. There will be our friends which we made our family. But that day wasn’t today. Tomorrow there’s another chance.’ That’s mostly when I end my cheer-up speech, but Endy went on for a few more seconds. ‘A chance to make this right.’ And now she gave me the end cheek-kiss which made me smile. ‘Thank you.’ I said while pulling her closer to me. ‘What would I do without you?’ I said, honest. Without Endy, I would have probably jumped off of that bridge a years ago. It was all for Endy, she is the reason I am still alive. ‘You probably be depressed.’ She answered while we lay down on the bed again.

As we lay there for a few minutes, I heard my phone vibrate. Immediately I reached for it and as I saw Gwen's name pop up from it, I jumped up and opened her text.

"I got home safe, so did G. I know u were wonderin. Gx" I smiled and felt a huge relief, even though nothing really had changed. But the fact that Gwen cared too much, that she was too kind. I can't believe how I keep on thinking that Gwen deserved better than Gavin, when I always end up being the one to fight him. I'm not better. I should be better. It's time to change, for real. For her.

"I was wondering, badly... I'm sorry, Gwen. So sorry" I decided to keep it light and short. I'm probably not her favourite person right now. To my biggest surprise, only a minute later I received another text.

"I know u are, sleep tight blake Gx"

"Goodnight x"

\---------

The next day my mom decided to take Endy with her to the zoo, along with Mike. Taking a family break. Of course they asked me whether I wanted to come with them, but after what happened yesterday I wasn't feeling like it. Gwen was all I thought about, she was stuck inside my head like my favourite tune. The aching of my heart that I most likely hurt Gwen was the worst part of all. I still can't believe that I scared her? Especially after knowing that she dated Gavin. That she dated a guy who fights everyone and that didn't work out. So what if she thinks I'm gonna end up hurting her as well, just as Gavin did? I've been laying on my bed for hours now, my family already been gone for the same amount of hours. 

When I woke up today, I was convinced to give Gwen her space and time. To wait for her to text me, to not push her. But how is she gonna know that I hate this? That I don't want to hurt her, not in a million years. That I don't want to fight people, that I'm not Gavin. That if she would give her heart to me one day, I wouldn't end up shattering it. To compose myself, I texted Adam, asking him whether he was busy with something. He ended up answering me a simple: 'nope' text. So I decided to call his number. Only a few seconds later, he answered while being all enthusiastic. But as soon as I spoke up, even trying to imitate his enthusiasm, he ask me what was wrong.

"I had a fight with Gwen."

"About what?" I laid myself down again after putting my phone on speaker, as I lay there, looking up at the sealing, I sighted.

"I tried to defend her, you know?"

"Rule one in everything, Blake, a girl thinks she can stick up for herself. So whatever you do, don't let it shine through too much that you're defending her. That way she thinks you think that she's too weak to defend herself. Woman's brain, I'll never get it." I grin at his last comment.

"What did you do though?"

"Well Gavin was irritating her, so I might've kinda jumped him."

"Wait, dude, you fought Gavin again?" Adam's voice cried in disbelief, while hearing a slightly amused tone as well.

"How in hell am I gonna fix this?" I asked him worried, avoiding his direct, unnecessary questions.

"Wait, one step at a time, how did Gwen react?" I told him about how she told me how I scared her and about Gavin's head that was bleeding. Obviously I also told Adam my frustration about his over exaggerating and how Gwen barely looked at me and took off with him. After all that I also told him about the text from last night.

"God, she must like you a lot, to send you that text! But man... Gwen and Gavin, it's such a complicated relationship, you know?"

"No I don't, I wasn't there!" Adam kept quiet for a couple of minutes, thinking about what he should tell me.

"Gavin is an ass, to anyone but her. He seemed to love her, a lot. And so did she. But the rumours are that one day on a party Gwen told him she was sick of him getting himself into trouble all the time. So she left, which made Gavin drink his ass off..." He stopped right there, but I'm sure I'd be able to fill in the rest.

"Look, I don't know what is true about this, ok?  I know Gwen very well, but some things are just too private. But a lot of people heard about him cheating on her with some girl." I let out a huge sight, while rubbing my head.

"She didn't deserve that, especially after everything she had to go through with him. From problems at school, to fights, to many drunk nights... You should go see her, dude."

"And tell her what?" I said, while I sat up straight, rubbing my head.

"Ask her for another chance. To prove her you're not Gavin, saying that you're sorry is important as well. But it's not enough, because imagine how many times Gavin had said it to her, without proving anything would change. She doesn't want a fighter like Gavin. She wants the sweet cowboy in you."

"I hope she still sees the sweet cowboy in me, though..."

"Of course she will. When she told you she was scared, how did you feel?"

"Terrible, man... you have no idea."

"Tell her. Tell her you never want to feel like that ever again. Be as honest you can get, Blake."

We kept quiet on the line for almost a minute as suddenly I heard Adam let out a huge sight.

"You better are making yourself ready right now to go to her home..."

"I don't know, maybe she doesn't want to see me?"

"Blake, please! Go!" He aughed. "You wanna hear something funny thought?" I made an agreement noise which made him chuckle. "So I'm in this store right now... Guess who's here as well?" I thought for a moment especially after hearing his extremely amused but also rather shy voice. "Oh my God, is it Behati?"

As it was quiet for a moment I started chuckling. "Is she alone?"

"I think so, yeah." He said after a few more seconds, which made me suspect that he was staring at her like a freak, to see whether she was hanging with some of her friends.

"It's your chance, dude. Talk to her!"

"What? No way!"

"Let's make a deal here, bro. You go talk to her and I'll go talk to Gwen." He seemed to actually consider it, as he eventually said yes, to my big surprise. After asking him whether he was serious and he told me he was a thousand times, he hang up as he said he was walking over to her at the moment. To be completely honest, I didn't believe that he would actually have the guts to talk to her for real. He'll probably end up walking just straight past her. Anyway, I pulled out a sweater and a jeans, not feeling like going fancy now and ran downstairs. I hurried, considering I didn't want to rethink it, because otherwise I might end up in my bed again. I quickly picked my coat off from the couch and opened my front door while putting it on. When I looked up, I saw Gwen standing a few steps away from my door, staring at me.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are like chocolate dipped strawberries


End file.
